Jeffie's back; Death to the Grammorians

Hallo! Earthlings! Jeffie here. Yes, this is really me. You may have noticed some strange things coming from "me" over the last month. Well, I was on a remote asteroid mining for special materials to use in tight clothing for Earthlings when I received an SoS homing beacon from Spaceship Jeffie. An alien race known only as the "Grammorians" took control of my ship. Yes, my ship! Apparently they've been posting, whilst pretending to be me, all sorts of ghastly graphics and running confusing and simultaneous contests. Gasp!

I assure you, I have taken back control of Spaceship Jeffie. As for the Grammorians, they've all been shown the door. I've learned my lesson; guards are now posted at all airlocks.

Some important things you might wanna know!

  • The ship is just fine, just a bit of minor damage and it smells a little like Grammorian on the bridge (hoping that will fade)
  • My team is working tirelessly to restore artificial gravity and of course get the store (re)opened in the next couple weeks!
  • I've promoted two of my crew for outstanding performance during the "retaking of Spaceship Jeffie" mission; you'll be seeing them post their bios shortly
    • Admiral Sassypants (aka KF-2187)
    • Lieutenant Commander Spawnasaurusrex (aka TK-421)
  • DO YOU have what it takes to be a Jeffie Ambassador to the people of Earth?
    • More on this from Admiral Sassypants
  • Subscribe to Jeffie transmissions for exclusives and deals, yo

I'm excited to be selling things again soon! We're also working on new bodies/styles for your Earthly pursuits. Stay tuned!